While I don't think there is any one answer, I think Ridgewalker puts it better than most when he says:
When I first came on here, back in '05, I'll have to admit that I was a tad baffled by the "Trusted List", so I asked someone who I respected, what this was all about. I can't think of a better, or alternate title for this list, but it's not always about trust. It can be about respect for a person's point of view and the way they express it. It can be a "thanks" for the helpful information, or for making me laugh. It can mean, simply, that I like you, or appreciate you. It might be a "welcome sign", as some people click on anyone who leaves more than one review. My situation here might differ from most others, in that I had maintained a base of friends even after I left the sight, so when I returned, so did a portion of my "Trusted List", very quickly. As far as genuine trust goes, there's very few people who I would actually trust with intimate information and I'm sure that's true with most reviewers, here. The over-whelming majority of people that have my picture on their page, I like, respect and appreciate. It's obviously not mutual 100% of the time, but I see no risk here in reaching out to others, because I have learned that, whether online, or in real life, you never know what part a person is going to play in your life when you first meet them. I met Stark online...
As far as this suggestion goes, I think it is contrary to the nature of RIA, but is perfect for someone who likes to slip notes under doors and run away...
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I agree on most of Ridgewalker's opinion. But I insist on the issue of honesty. If you claim to trust a member, you are expected to follow up in your reviews and comments. But when you get one member claiming to trust you by placing his avatar in your trusted network, and then you get criticized in the reviews and comments, attacked, called all kinds of names and make derogatory comments, the "trust" is a clear back stabbing at you and your character. I do not appreciate that, and it was the reason for my suggestion.
ReplyDeleteRovin'...I never trusted you. I did, however, show my appreciation for the way you helped to lift the cloud off of the site. As far as backstabbing goes...you have used this term several times. I never said, or did anything behind your back. I said it directly to you. In this particular case, I was talking about you and you recognized it, immediately. Immediately. No one else. And the reason is that it could not have been anyone else. Only you. What a hypocrite. You show no concern for the person that you hurt. And there's nothing that you can do about it. I'm sure it's not the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last. Cowboy up...learn from this and move on...
ReplyDeleteI posted my comments as I would have done with anyone expressing doubts and concerns about God and Christianity. I have no way of knowing what a person is going through if the person does not express it. I answered to your review because I agreed with your position. But accusing me of being a hypocrite and insensitive because I couldn't "guess" that that particular person was going through a difficult time is plainly dishonest. You could have informed me about it in a PM. But you didn't. You let weeks go by and then, out of nowhere, blast me. That is dishonest.
ReplyDeleteThat wasn't dishonest...it's how things unfolded. BTW, I have noticed that when you run out of defensible things to say, you resort to lying. You never invited me to discuss anything in private with you.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the problem with your prostelytizing is that you DON'T consider the people that you're talking to. Why would you assume that anyone wants to listen to you and your own person version of religion? And on the internet? To a complete stranger? Listen, I know what kind of a person you are. The kind who not even once showed remorse or said that you were sorry if you hurt someone. Trying to teach you anything about humanity would be like trying to reason with a guard dog. Actually, you kind of remind me of the Rottwielers in "The Omen".
Now you accuse me of lying? Oh, boy. How low are you going to get? Of course I didn't invite you to discuss anything in PM's because I saw no problem. But you did see a problem and even as you could have warned me about it, you didn't do it. That's dishonest.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with you seems to be that you believe some people have more right to post on the internet than others. I am just another human being like any other who has a computer, including yourself, and have the same right to express my views and opinion as anyone else. This is still a free country. Perhaps you wish I didn't have that right?
And keep insulting, it brings the whole intensity of your true colors out.
LM, I think Ridge is confused by the thread in which you say:
ReplyDelete"Ridge, I have noticed how carefully you left out my offer to continue the discussion off these site and in a more personal and direct way. Now I know why."
(http://www.rateitall.com/r-2641257.aspx#ReviewsStart)
Whereas, in this thread you say:
"Now you accuse me of lying? Oh, boy. How low are you going to get? Of course I didn't invite you to discuss anything in PM's because I saw no problem."
Thank you lawrence...that's exactly what I was refering to. Rovin' thinks that he's invisible, or that people aren't paying attention...
ReplyDeleteI have clearly invited the person I was discussing the issue, to continue our conversation through PMs or email, because the number of comments in our conversation was increasing too much and I was somehow afraid to lost track on them. She never PMd or Emailed me.
ReplyDeleteNo shit, Sherlock...Somehow we've come full circle...you scared her away...
ReplyDeletemagellan, Ridge or anyome else: please bring up the member's reviwes and my comments to her. If you are honest, you will judge me by the evidence. I promise, if the evidence convict me, I will leave RIA for good. But, unless you bring the evidence, you are falsely accusing me. Put up or shut up.
ReplyDeleteThat's very dramatic LM, but as you're well aware, the reviewer in question deleted her account.
ReplyDeleteThe fact is that she deleted her account because of you and I have her words. She said that you sounded like a cult member and you scared her. But I'm not gonna release them. This ain't a court of law and nothing you say or do will change the truth. I might consider sharing them with a 3rd party, if it came down to that, but you wouldn't believe them either, so what's the difference? The real truth is that isn't about you...it's about her...You're not going to bully me around
ReplyDeleteI would venture to guess that it has been saved in the site's database. I hope so. If not, this whole chicanery is based on accusations void of any evidence other than the words of one member.
ReplyDeleteI have her emails...believe me..you don't want to see them...
ReplyDeleteYOU Ridge, have falsely accused me of wrong doing and lying before the whole RIA community. If what you claim is true, bring on the evidence before before the community. Let them judge the evidence. Unless you are afraid the truth of your chicanery is exposed and you lose all your credibility and worshipers. You either bring up the evidence, or you will publicly apologize for falsely accusing me of any wrong doing and/or lying. Are you man enough to do either?
ReplyDeleteFalsely accused again LM? Wow, you have awfully bad luck to have this keep happening to you. I don't have any facts in this particular incident, and nor do I want them. I do know your record however, as well as Ridge's. Yours does not work in your favor in the court of public opinion.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I asked for evidence. I don't want anyone to believe me, but then, not believe Ridge either, without presenting evidence. And if there is no evidence, the accusation is false, and the false accuser must apologize. This has nothing to do with record. It is a matter of public accusation and humiliation. Totally uncalled for and unwarranted. With no other possible purpose other than to discredit me. Publicly. Why? What is behind it? What good can it do to anyone? How could it help or better the community?
ReplyDeleteHe started the whole chicanery, and he must end it. Either with evidence or an apology. It is the right thing to do.
Of course you do. Just waiting for a good excuse. You are unfair, you are biased, you are not balanced, you are not impartial. You don't intimidate me. The point is, I HAVE BEEN FALSELY ACCUSED OF WRONG DOING. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO START IT. BUT I AM THE AFFECTED PARTY. AND IF YOU ARE HONEST, FAIR AND JUST, YOU WILL PUT ASIDE YOUR BIAS AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT. Banning me will not make the problem go away. And you do have a problem here. Either YOU are running the site or you are just being manipulated by certain members. Your choice. I let go of the absurd accusation of using multiple accounts for peace sake. But it seems that it was not enough. Some members are poised to cause enough conflict as to not leave you other choice but to ban me. There is something intrinsically rotten in this site, and if you don't wake up, shake up and do something about it, you will see it die. Perhaps you have lost your touch or interest after so many years running it. Well, get help, get out for a few months. It's tearing you apart and you are losing that which must never be lost: equanimity. Anyway, if I let this one go, the next will be worse. I know that, you know that. You either stand up for your site or get me out.Your choice.
ReplyDeleteSo, you suspended me. Thank you for confirming my statement. Good job!!!
LM, check back in a few weeks. If you settle down, we'll welcome you back.
ReplyDeleteOne more favor before it is over. Would you allow me to log in for a few minutes to delete my account? Please, for old time sake?
ReplyDeleteIf you let me in to delete my account, I promise never to come back to RIA. What do you say?
ReplyDeleteIt was not enough to suspend my account. You are blocking me to even read the site. What's with that? What are you afraid of?
ReplyDeleteLM, your account has been locked for two weeks. You'll have to wait.
ReplyDeleteWould it be much to ask that, as long as I am out, members should refrain from attacking me?
ReplyDeleteWow, 5 days after being suspended and the attacks are worse than ever. Thanks mag.
ReplyDeleteSal Tessio: "Tom, can you help me out...for old times sake?"
ReplyDeleteTom: "Sorry, Sal...no can do."
Ouch. Nice reference. Only I'm no consigliari. And hopefully, the stakes aren't as high for you as they were for Tessio. I see this more as like ' "I know the kind of man Tessio is and he doesn't really need my help."
ReplyDeleteYou guys are sick.
ReplyDeleteLittle Girl: "Are you sick?"
ReplyDeleteThe Marietta Mangler: "Why do you ask?"
Little Girl: "You look sick."
'The Marietta Mangler': "I am sick."
Little Girl: "Do you take medicine?"
'The Marietta Mangler': "There is no medicine for what I have."